Frauds - A History of Hate

Let me give you a short history of how this hate came to be. So honestly I did not know much about the Jonas Brothers until this summer. I knew they existed I felt the presence of evil in my everyday life, but I didn't know what it was. Figured it was some force like ZOOL and thus Bill Murray would have to take care of it and not me. However, I was wrong and I would soon find out. In the summer I sometimes work for a certain Disney owned morning news program, and we occasionally have concert series. As I was setting up the audio for this one show featuring the Jonas Brothers my boss made a joke to me about no point in plugging in the amps besides letting the red on light show. Didn't understand it at the time but as I got to the mixing board realized the fucktards didn't even have their volumes up. All the guitars were basically show! Unluckily, the shits did do their own singing so I had to sit through that crap. But the Disney made fads used their backing band to supply all the true sounds the audience was hearing.

Now, the real shame here lies in that backing band. These are probably professional musicians who in their life times have composed music that is much better than what they are playing now. And that is because middle America doesn't listen to good music. They listen to virgin ass'd pussies because that's what God wants them to listen to.

Idiots.

So what did we learn today? That the Jonas Brother's suck so much that their father company doesn't want them to actually play their instruments (like a band?) and that they should just stand on stage like idiots singing this teen pop to all their musically ignorant fans.

America!

Let Talk Purity Rings/New Jersey

So they wear purity rings, lets make fun of this. Of course you would think that the evil Disney empire wants to show pure kids singing to our youth, but no apparently this was their decision. This proves they are not Rock and Roll (for anyone out there still arguing that point) Let me give a quick definition of the terms.

Rock and Roll: Drugs, Sex, Alcohol and Good Music

Purity Rings: Abstinence from Drugs, Sex, Alcohol and Good Music

Here are some direct fucktard quotes
"a promise to ourselves and to God that we'll stay pure till marriage,"
"purity rings [are] pretty awesome, and the rings are just one of our ways of kind of like being different than everybody else out there."
I'm sorry half of that last quote made my head hurt.

FAGTREE!!

Now I don't hate them for being pussies that's legit, it's the fact that they think its "awesome" and that they are preaching this shit to our kids. It's the 21st century kids balls drop by age seven, bufuing by eight, slamming ribs by nine having babies by thirteen.

Anyways lets move on.



So they are from New Jersey. Now New Jersey gets a lot of shit. I mean it does suck but every once in awhile something good will come out of it. But for the most part its New York City's colon. However, its things like the Jonas Brothers that add to Jersey's stigma. Jersey this is what I recommend to you, let them know that you don't want the affiliation. Tell them to go around telling everyone that they are Canadian or something. Know what even kick them out of your state I'm sure you can come up with some bullshit reason. New Jersey, you need to step it up you kick the Jonas Brothers out of your state! I will publicly apologize for you state sucking and I will let the world know that you are a beautiful place that smells like cherry blossoms, angel whispers and unicorn smiles.

Out.

I'm a Little Suspicious - Jonas Brothers Ruin Another Classic

I know this is a little late but it has to be brought up. The Jonas Brothers played with the Stevie Wonder at the Grammy's. Let me clarify that the fucktards known as the Jonas Brother's played with the man who wrote Sir Duke, Superstitious, I Just Called to Say I Love You and of course Shoo-Be-Doo-Be-Doo-Da-Day (and many others). Who let this happen?!? I mean yah of course Fuck the Jonas Brothers for being alive but know what, fuck the people who set up the Grammy line up even more. I mean Stevie Wonder is awesome and he's blind so that means he has super hearing, so he had to hear that shit even better than us normal people had to hear it. I just feel bad for the guy. It's funny though if you watch the video of this performance (which starts with some crappy song the pussies wrote) you won't see Stevie Wonder smile until Superstitious comes in. Also, when his song comes in the crowds applause blows up because they are so happy they don't have to listen to the crappy song the Jonas Brothers wrote. I don't really feel like embedding another video of theirs because its making this blog horrible to look at but I will give you all a link. Crap until about 2:10.

I like how the Grammy's knew they fucked up too, because they let Stevie close the night solo by himself. Trying to make up for the embarrassment they put the guy through.

The Beatles?!?! C'mon Don't touch the Beatles!

As most of you probably know, The Beatles have a great pop gem called Hello Goodbye its off Magical Mystery Tour and it just one of those happy songs. Listen to it and you can't help but feel good.



However, in the Jonas Brother's attempt to take all good out of humanity they have chosen to cover it. I will also embed this song but it's not for the faint of heart. (I have a very strong will and could only listen to about 20 seconds before my roommate had to pull the gun out of my hand).



Honestly, this makes me fucking sick. The Beatles arguable the greatest band ever have a catalog that should not be touched by these fucking bitches. I have no problem with covers if you do it with skill and care for the original song. These assholes just took a great song and said "Hey, we can play this faster and with distortion and all the teeny boppers will be able to relate to puberity." So know what I say, I say fuck the teeny boppers for allowing this band to be around. And to the Jonas Brothers come out and apologize to the surviving Beatles. Do you really think John, Paul George and Ringo would approve of this. Listen to any of their songs and then take a listen to yours. I'm sure Paul and Ringo are disgusted that you are what music has turned into.

Welcome

So over this past year I have come to know this fucking terrible band The Jonas Brothers. As a musician, American, human and caring member of society they make me sick. It is time that we band together and say FUCK YOU JONAS BROTHERS! Because they are taking over our tv's, cinemas, concert halls and are doing no good to our youth and even worse they are probably affecting my blood pressure (which is off the fucking charts) and once you attack me I have to go back at you. Check back often because I have a lot of ranting to do and they seem like they are going to keep playing.